A Curvy Ballerina

For many young dancers, there is a time in our lives when we feel that we’ll never “make it” because of our bodies.

For some of us, that means that we think we’ll never get into a company. Or maybe that we’ll never place 1st at a competition. Perhaps we even stop trying before we start. But why do we feel this way?

We spend hours every week staring at ourselves in floor to ceiling mirrors in our tightest fitting clothes so that we have visual feedback on our form. We receive verbal feedback on our technique from our teachers with a list of things that need improvement. We also receive the indirect feedback from our peers through comparison and our perception of interactions between our classmates and teachers.

For many dancers, somewhere along the line, the critiques become less about technique, and more about their bodies. Whether it is through society, media, or our teachers and peers, we learn at a very young age that some bodies are made for dancing, and some just… aren’t.

Here is where I come in- a self proclaimed curvy ballerina.

I was five years old when I knew I wanted to be a dance teacher, seven years old when I realized my body was different from my peers’, and twenty five years old when I decided I would finally stop letting my perception of my body dictate my success.

I have been teaching ballet for the last six years, and five of those years were filled with embarrassment and, at times, shame of my body. When I was asked what I did for work, I wouldn’t tell people that I am a ballet teacher simply to avoid their confused gaze or hurtful questions.

Now I am learning to say it proudly. I use my skills that are contained in this body to share my love of ballet to children, teens, and adults. I am showing them that ballet education does not need to be steeped in the toxic body shaming culture that I experienced growing up.

Welcome to my journey.